I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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