Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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