Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
