Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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