What a fucking waste of an outfit
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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