i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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