I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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