At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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