if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think people are normalizing furries
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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