You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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