What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
