Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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