One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If that was your dad, he is hot
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
