we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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