i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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