she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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