"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
