Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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