she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
