There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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