dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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