i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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