He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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