Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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