her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
