why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
