Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
