im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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