see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize