Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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