considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
