my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
