im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
