Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well most of my day revolves around power hour
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
