I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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