Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
