oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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