just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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