i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
