dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
