bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
