dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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