turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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