my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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