you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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