Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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