I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
