If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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