Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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