I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
