I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
well you can't waste a boner
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ladies don't puke and tell
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
