she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
