..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think brook has ever known best
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
