i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
