I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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